Making a decision - What to consider???
Dear Adopting Parents:
One of the greatest decisions you as adopting parents need to make is where you will adopt. Hope for Families Adoption Services has two wonderful programs to adopt child right here in the United States.
In fact, the very first question before beginning any adoption is "Do I want to adopt internationally or domestically?" Having sufficient information is essential in making a wise decision between international and domestic adoption based on your goals and family circumstances. Remember that domestic agencies will try to illustrate the positives of domestic adoptions while international programs will do the same. International agencies encourage clients to travel overseas, so they will focus on the fears about domestic adoptions, while domestic agencies will often focus on the difficulties of the international adoption process. The truth is there are potential benefits and challenges with both domestic and international adoptions. It is important for you know all the facts.
Your friends in adoption,
Dr. Ken and Lynn Brown
Domestic Adoptions (click here)
Domestic Adoptions:
There are basically two types of domestic adoption:
1) The first type of adoptions is the State sponsored programs where older children 3 and up are available for adoption. Both married couples can adopt, with few age restrictions, other than younger than 65 years and older than 21 years, with less than 50 years difference to the child. No more than three previous divorces are acceptable and parents must not have a major criminal record although we will review every situation. Applicants must not have a major life threatening medical illness or severe mental health diagnoses at the time of the application. Household income must at least $30,000 or more.
At least one of the adoptive parents must be a U.S. Citizen or have permanent US resident status. Most State requires you to take a mandatory 30 hour state sponsored MAPP course (Models of Approved Parenting) for training in parenting children who may have been exposed to abandonment, neglect or abuse. Some of these children have been in alcohol or drug exposed or violent situations, and the state had to take these children into protective custody. These adoptions are generally funded by the State and the cost is low. This program is more often chosen by parents who would like to adopt a child or sibling group without incurring significant financial costs.
In the State of Florida, most people seem to report that our State wants them to foster rather than adopt, and that the adoption process was filled with stressful bureaucratic difficulties and delays. Sadly, many people have begun the process in Florida, only to never complete an adoption, or have had children placed in their homes with such severe problems that it has scared them away from adoption. Often, while attempting to adopt through a Florida fostering program, parents become understandably bonded to a particular child, and then are absolutely heart broken when the child is suddenly removed from their home due to some legal reason. Florida is mandated to attempt to rehabilitate the biological parents and always gives preference to any biological relative over the potential adoptive or foster parents. This process can be emotionally devastating to the adopting parents where they loose a child they have grown to love.
In contrast, our Interstate Adoption program is designed to assist you in adopting children who need a loving, permanent family from other states other than Florida. This is an amazing adoption opportunity as there are about 600,000 children in the US foster system and approximately 100,000 children are available for adoption at any time. You can begin to search for your own children at www.adoptuskids.org but you will need to join our program first in order to register Hope for Families as your receiving agency. There are strict rules designed to protect the safety of children that restrict the release of information to private citizens, and the various state agencies will only give you the child’s information, and consider you for adoption if you are working with another local licensed adoption agency, such as Hope for Families.
Hope for Families has to complete your adoption home study and then you can sign our Interstate Adoption Review Contract so that you can begin receiving detailed information about the children you select within the foster system in other states outside of Florida. The Interstate Compact and State where the child lives will require you to have a licensed agency as your receiving agency so that we can assist you in receiving, assessing and reviewing the confidential information about the children you are interested in adopting and coordinate with the Sending Agency for child placement. You will also need to take the approved parenting course. We will work with you to contact the agencies and work with you to find an appropriate referral. Then will work with the agency to complete your post placements which are necessary to finalize your adoption.
Our interstate program is the most cost effective and user friendly method of adoption of an older child or sibling group.
There are basically two types of domestic adoption:
1) The first type of adoptions is the State sponsored programs where older children 3 and up are available for adoption. Both married couples can adopt, with few age restrictions, other than younger than 65 years and older than 21 years, with less than 50 years difference to the child. No more than three previous divorces are acceptable and parents must not have a major criminal record although we will review every situation. Applicants must not have a major life threatening medical illness or severe mental health diagnoses at the time of the application. Household income must at least $30,000 or more.
At least one of the adoptive parents must be a U.S. Citizen or have permanent US resident status. Most State requires you to take a mandatory 30 hour state sponsored MAPP course (Models of Approved Parenting) for training in parenting children who may have been exposed to abandonment, neglect or abuse. Some of these children have been in alcohol or drug exposed or violent situations, and the state had to take these children into protective custody. These adoptions are generally funded by the State and the cost is low. This program is more often chosen by parents who would like to adopt a child or sibling group without incurring significant financial costs.
In the State of Florida, most people seem to report that our State wants them to foster rather than adopt, and that the adoption process was filled with stressful bureaucratic difficulties and delays. Sadly, many people have begun the process in Florida, only to never complete an adoption, or have had children placed in their homes with such severe problems that it has scared them away from adoption. Often, while attempting to adopt through a Florida fostering program, parents become understandably bonded to a particular child, and then are absolutely heart broken when the child is suddenly removed from their home due to some legal reason. Florida is mandated to attempt to rehabilitate the biological parents and always gives preference to any biological relative over the potential adoptive or foster parents. This process can be emotionally devastating to the adopting parents where they loose a child they have grown to love.
In contrast, our Interstate Adoption program is designed to assist you in adopting children who need a loving, permanent family from other states other than Florida. This is an amazing adoption opportunity as there are about 600,000 children in the US foster system and approximately 100,000 children are available for adoption at any time. You can begin to search for your own children at www.adoptuskids.org but you will need to join our program first in order to register Hope for Families as your receiving agency. There are strict rules designed to protect the safety of children that restrict the release of information to private citizens, and the various state agencies will only give you the child’s information, and consider you for adoption if you are working with another local licensed adoption agency, such as Hope for Families.
Hope for Families has to complete your adoption home study and then you can sign our Interstate Adoption Review Contract so that you can begin receiving detailed information about the children you select within the foster system in other states outside of Florida. The Interstate Compact and State where the child lives will require you to have a licensed agency as your receiving agency so that we can assist you in receiving, assessing and reviewing the confidential information about the children you are interested in adopting and coordinate with the Sending Agency for child placement. You will also need to take the approved parenting course. We will work with you to contact the agencies and work with you to find an appropriate referral. Then will work with the agency to complete your post placements which are necessary to finalize your adoption.
Our interstate program is the most cost effective and user friendly method of adoption of an older child or sibling group.
Private Adoptions (click here)
Private Adoptions:
The second type of adoptions is a private adoption process where an adoptive family makes arrangements with a child placing agency or adoption attorney to facilitate the adoption with a birthmother of a new born baby. This private adoption allows a parent to adopt a generally healthy baby with medical and background records before and after the birth. Birth fathers are rarely involved in the adoption and therefore the birth father’s medical background is not as available. Families are often able to visit with the doctor(s) at the hospital and even meet or talk to the birthmother before the birth. While drug and alcohol exposure are generally lower in a domestic adoption, 65 percent of all birth mothers have smoked during their pregnancy. The adoption generally takes between 6-18 months, although good agencies are generally in the 7-10 month range to adoption. Depending on the adoption organization selected, waiting times may vary more than international adoptions, but 70% of the families we recommend to our domestic program through our sister agency have their baby within 7 months!
The major risk inherent within domestic adoptions is that birth mothers are legally allowed to change their mind until they sign the relinquishment paperwork. Each state varies on the time frames a birth mother can sign her consent to adopt, however most states allow the birth mother to sign 48-72 hours after the baby is born. From that point, most states do not allow the birth mother to legally change her mind and regain custody of the child. Birth mothers do change their minds before signing the legal paperwork and this can create emotional trauma for everyone, but a good agency such as our recommended program has the highest completion ratio in adoptions which higher than 90% due to their careful screening and support process. Other agencies we have encountered and do not recommend, have a 25% or higher failure rate. In the event of a birth mother terminating the adoption, in our domestic adoption program continues to work with the adopting parents with no extra agencies costs until an adoption is finalized without a time restriction. Birth mothers select the adoptive family so families must provide photos and general non-identifying information so that the adopting family is protected from a later intrusion of the birth mother.
Domestic adoptions do have their downfalls because the process can be disappointing. Most families will talk with birth mothers that at some point during their pregnancy or immediately after birth, and if that birth mother then decides against the adoption it can be very distressing. You could be working with the birth mother for two days or three months and develop an emotional bond and expectations. Remember, the birth mother retains full legal rights to choose whether she will keep her child up to the time she signs her consent, regardless of her promises to you or the agency. Obviously, the disappointment grows the longer you have worked with a birth mother and the stronger the emotional attachment to the birth mother or new born child. However, the often repeated myth that a domestic child can be taken out of your arms at any time is absolutely unfounded. In most states, the legal documents a birth mother signs, which typically occurs 48-72 hours after the baby is born, are irrevocable once signed. In simple terms, in most states, once she signs the paperwork she cannot simply change her mind. However, she can go through a court process and try to prove she was forced into the decision by threats or bribes, but in over 75,000 adoptions in the last 10 years, we know of no cases where the birth mother prevailed as the court favors the permanent placement. There will be a professional social worker, court notary and attorney present at the time of the birth mother’s signature to ensure her full rights to decide, and yet prevent a latter retraction based on spurious allegations to fully protect the adopting families.
A more common risk concerns birth fathers. In about one out of every 100 adoptions a birth father will attempt to assert his parental rights. The birth father issues are often known early in the adoption process so families can decide if they wish to proceed with such a risk. However, there are rare cases were the birth father's feelings about adoption are unknown until after the baby is placed with the adoptive family. Even when a birth father is against the adoption, few will ever hire an attorney in efforts to stop the adoption and they seldom prevail in the ensuing legal arbitration. In over 75,000 adoptions there are only a few stated cases whereby a birth father has actually won custody of his child after the adoption is finalized. Florida is one of the best states to finalize an adoption, as, other than husbands, the fathers are legally obliged to both support the birth mother during pregnancy and make application to the punitive father’s registry to have a parental right claim. Florida has completely rewritten adoptive legislation to institute a legal process that places the responsibility on the birth father at the time of the birth to prevent a destructive disruption later. It is true that most biological fathers do not want the entire responsibility of raising a child alone and supporting the child financially.
In a domestic adoption, generally both spouses will have to travel to whichever state the child is born in, and usually meet the birth mother, sometimes her family, and also the new baby. Often the adopting families will have to stay 3-10 days in the state for the initial court processes and state paperwork that must be filed, and to gain the Interstate Compact approval, so that you can bring your child back home with you. Most states will require multiple post placement assessments before the legal finalization of your adoption. In the State of Florida, 3 post placements are required, although more may be necessary if the baby’s state of origin requires more.
Hope for Families has a wonderful private adoption program for new born babies. Adopting a baby is very achievable and we will assist you to make your dream a reality. Just press "Adopt a Baby in US" to begin your domestic adoption journey.
The second type of adoptions is a private adoption process where an adoptive family makes arrangements with a child placing agency or adoption attorney to facilitate the adoption with a birthmother of a new born baby. This private adoption allows a parent to adopt a generally healthy baby with medical and background records before and after the birth. Birth fathers are rarely involved in the adoption and therefore the birth father’s medical background is not as available. Families are often able to visit with the doctor(s) at the hospital and even meet or talk to the birthmother before the birth. While drug and alcohol exposure are generally lower in a domestic adoption, 65 percent of all birth mothers have smoked during their pregnancy. The adoption generally takes between 6-18 months, although good agencies are generally in the 7-10 month range to adoption. Depending on the adoption organization selected, waiting times may vary more than international adoptions, but 70% of the families we recommend to our domestic program through our sister agency have their baby within 7 months!
The major risk inherent within domestic adoptions is that birth mothers are legally allowed to change their mind until they sign the relinquishment paperwork. Each state varies on the time frames a birth mother can sign her consent to adopt, however most states allow the birth mother to sign 48-72 hours after the baby is born. From that point, most states do not allow the birth mother to legally change her mind and regain custody of the child. Birth mothers do change their minds before signing the legal paperwork and this can create emotional trauma for everyone, but a good agency such as our recommended program has the highest completion ratio in adoptions which higher than 90% due to their careful screening and support process. Other agencies we have encountered and do not recommend, have a 25% or higher failure rate. In the event of a birth mother terminating the adoption, in our domestic adoption program continues to work with the adopting parents with no extra agencies costs until an adoption is finalized without a time restriction. Birth mothers select the adoptive family so families must provide photos and general non-identifying information so that the adopting family is protected from a later intrusion of the birth mother.
Domestic adoptions do have their downfalls because the process can be disappointing. Most families will talk with birth mothers that at some point during their pregnancy or immediately after birth, and if that birth mother then decides against the adoption it can be very distressing. You could be working with the birth mother for two days or three months and develop an emotional bond and expectations. Remember, the birth mother retains full legal rights to choose whether she will keep her child up to the time she signs her consent, regardless of her promises to you or the agency. Obviously, the disappointment grows the longer you have worked with a birth mother and the stronger the emotional attachment to the birth mother or new born child. However, the often repeated myth that a domestic child can be taken out of your arms at any time is absolutely unfounded. In most states, the legal documents a birth mother signs, which typically occurs 48-72 hours after the baby is born, are irrevocable once signed. In simple terms, in most states, once she signs the paperwork she cannot simply change her mind. However, she can go through a court process and try to prove she was forced into the decision by threats or bribes, but in over 75,000 adoptions in the last 10 years, we know of no cases where the birth mother prevailed as the court favors the permanent placement. There will be a professional social worker, court notary and attorney present at the time of the birth mother’s signature to ensure her full rights to decide, and yet prevent a latter retraction based on spurious allegations to fully protect the adopting families.
A more common risk concerns birth fathers. In about one out of every 100 adoptions a birth father will attempt to assert his parental rights. The birth father issues are often known early in the adoption process so families can decide if they wish to proceed with such a risk. However, there are rare cases were the birth father's feelings about adoption are unknown until after the baby is placed with the adoptive family. Even when a birth father is against the adoption, few will ever hire an attorney in efforts to stop the adoption and they seldom prevail in the ensuing legal arbitration. In over 75,000 adoptions there are only a few stated cases whereby a birth father has actually won custody of his child after the adoption is finalized. Florida is one of the best states to finalize an adoption, as, other than husbands, the fathers are legally obliged to both support the birth mother during pregnancy and make application to the punitive father’s registry to have a parental right claim. Florida has completely rewritten adoptive legislation to institute a legal process that places the responsibility on the birth father at the time of the birth to prevent a destructive disruption later. It is true that most biological fathers do not want the entire responsibility of raising a child alone and supporting the child financially.
In a domestic adoption, generally both spouses will have to travel to whichever state the child is born in, and usually meet the birth mother, sometimes her family, and also the new baby. Often the adopting families will have to stay 3-10 days in the state for the initial court processes and state paperwork that must be filed, and to gain the Interstate Compact approval, so that you can bring your child back home with you. Most states will require multiple post placement assessments before the legal finalization of your adoption. In the State of Florida, 3 post placements are required, although more may be necessary if the baby’s state of origin requires more.
Hope for Families has a wonderful private adoption program for new born babies. Adopting a baby is very achievable and we will assist you to make your dream a reality. Just press "Adopt a Baby in US" to begin your domestic adoption journey.
Interstate Adoptions (click here)
New Born Adoptions (click here)
International Adoptions (click here)
International Adoptions:
Sadly, International programs are very difficult at this time and the implementation of the Hague Convention has made things much more difficult and costly. Many countries have closed or are experienced 3 year delays in providing referrals. Generally adoptable children are older and are living in orphanages without proper resources or care. Medical records are meager for international adoption as there is rarely substantial information on the birth parents. Alcoholism and drug exposure is more likely in some countries and reactive attachment and post traumatic stress disorders are common. Children may have experienced neglect and abuse from their parents, and emotional detachment issues are also common as orphanages may not have the staff to care for the children. Clinical counselors say that the younger the child is, the fewer emotional problems they may have, but that is not always possible in international adoption.
International adoption travel can be very stressful as you will quickly learn that you are not in control. The country you are adopting from is autonomous from the US legal system and can arbitrarily decide to do anything, although adoption does benefit their economy and reputation. Certain countries have suddenly shut down all adoptions in their country which has meant that any adoptions in the process are stopped.
Several agencies create interest in adoption by having pictures of children apparently available for adoption on their websites. My caution is never to look at these pictures on the internet as it creates commitment to adopt a particular child but the agency can not guarantee that the child will be available. Do not allow yourself to become emotionally attached as it is not uncommon for the orphanage to promise this child to several agencies and it is only the country and their court that decides who will adopt this child. The orphanage’s goal is to place the children as soon as possible, which makes the chances of you actually adopting the viewed “child of your dreams” less than favorable. Adoptive families can be so emotionally drawn by pictures or videotapes of waiting children, that they dispose of logic and allow their hearts to make imprudent decisions which may lead to great disappointment. Be extremely wary of any agency that displays any picture of any child for adoption as federal regulations expressly forbid the posting of any pictures for adoption referrals as the referral can only be made while in country at the orphanage in the presence of the child.
Generally in most international adoption both spouses will have to travel to whichever country the child is located and stay anywhere from 2 weeks to 2 months but there are some exceptions to this rule. The length of stay for adopting parents in the country of their child will greatly vary depending on the country chosen. In some countries, families are required to travel twice or have one longer visit that is impossible for some occupations. It should be noted that adopting single parents and in the case of a married couple, at least one parent must be a U.S. citizen in order to adopt internationally and obtain a visa to bring the child back into the U.S. as an immediate relative. The children have medical examinations by the orphanage’s doctor but these examines are generally not up to American levels of professionalism. Some children adopted overseas have undiagnosed medical problems such as exhibiting symptoms of attachment disorder because some level of sensory and nutritional deprivation while in the orphanage due to the momentary access to their mother. In the worse case scenario, attachment disorder symptoms have included destruction to self or others, learning problems, fire setting and cruelty to siblings, animals and others. Certain older children who have been abused have exhibited poor or underdeveloped conscience, lying and fascination with weapons, and even violence. CNN reported about the worst orphanages in Eastern Europe, "These institutions are both contaminated in the sense of health problems and sterile in the sense of emotional attachment." There are other high risk factors that affect a developing brain, including malnourishment being one of the most important, but along with nutritional deprivation, social deprivation, isolation, and other types of hazards that can affect brain chemistry and development of proper brain cells and brain function.
At this time, due to these many negative factors, it is becoming more difficult to give a positive recommendation for International Adoption. However, Hope for Families will still assist you with the home study and adoption education if you believe that this is the decision for your family.
Sadly, International programs are very difficult at this time and the implementation of the Hague Convention has made things much more difficult and costly. Many countries have closed or are experienced 3 year delays in providing referrals. Generally adoptable children are older and are living in orphanages without proper resources or care. Medical records are meager for international adoption as there is rarely substantial information on the birth parents. Alcoholism and drug exposure is more likely in some countries and reactive attachment and post traumatic stress disorders are common. Children may have experienced neglect and abuse from their parents, and emotional detachment issues are also common as orphanages may not have the staff to care for the children. Clinical counselors say that the younger the child is, the fewer emotional problems they may have, but that is not always possible in international adoption.
International adoption travel can be very stressful as you will quickly learn that you are not in control. The country you are adopting from is autonomous from the US legal system and can arbitrarily decide to do anything, although adoption does benefit their economy and reputation. Certain countries have suddenly shut down all adoptions in their country which has meant that any adoptions in the process are stopped.
Several agencies create interest in adoption by having pictures of children apparently available for adoption on their websites. My caution is never to look at these pictures on the internet as it creates commitment to adopt a particular child but the agency can not guarantee that the child will be available. Do not allow yourself to become emotionally attached as it is not uncommon for the orphanage to promise this child to several agencies and it is only the country and their court that decides who will adopt this child. The orphanage’s goal is to place the children as soon as possible, which makes the chances of you actually adopting the viewed “child of your dreams” less than favorable. Adoptive families can be so emotionally drawn by pictures or videotapes of waiting children, that they dispose of logic and allow their hearts to make imprudent decisions which may lead to great disappointment. Be extremely wary of any agency that displays any picture of any child for adoption as federal regulations expressly forbid the posting of any pictures for adoption referrals as the referral can only be made while in country at the orphanage in the presence of the child.
Generally in most international adoption both spouses will have to travel to whichever country the child is located and stay anywhere from 2 weeks to 2 months but there are some exceptions to this rule. The length of stay for adopting parents in the country of their child will greatly vary depending on the country chosen. In some countries, families are required to travel twice or have one longer visit that is impossible for some occupations. It should be noted that adopting single parents and in the case of a married couple, at least one parent must be a U.S. citizen in order to adopt internationally and obtain a visa to bring the child back into the U.S. as an immediate relative. The children have medical examinations by the orphanage’s doctor but these examines are generally not up to American levels of professionalism. Some children adopted overseas have undiagnosed medical problems such as exhibiting symptoms of attachment disorder because some level of sensory and nutritional deprivation while in the orphanage due to the momentary access to their mother. In the worse case scenario, attachment disorder symptoms have included destruction to self or others, learning problems, fire setting and cruelty to siblings, animals and others. Certain older children who have been abused have exhibited poor or underdeveloped conscience, lying and fascination with weapons, and even violence. CNN reported about the worst orphanages in Eastern Europe, "These institutions are both contaminated in the sense of health problems and sterile in the sense of emotional attachment." There are other high risk factors that affect a developing brain, including malnourishment being one of the most important, but along with nutritional deprivation, social deprivation, isolation, and other types of hazards that can affect brain chemistry and development of proper brain cells and brain function.
At this time, due to these many negative factors, it is becoming more difficult to give a positive recommendation for International Adoption. However, Hope for Families will still assist you with the home study and adoption education if you believe that this is the decision for your family.
Comparison of Costs (click here)
Comparison of Costs between Domestic and International Adoptions:
When you add the travel costs to the international adoption: the cost is generally in the $35,000. Domestic adoption of a newborn baby is often $10,000 less than the cost of an international adoption! Our Hope for Families Interstate Referral Program only cost $6,000 which is the most cost effective adoption available!
When you add the travel costs to the international adoption: the cost is generally in the $35,000. Domestic adoption of a newborn baby is often $10,000 less than the cost of an international adoption! Our Hope for Families Interstate Referral Program only cost $6,000 which is the most cost effective adoption available!
Who to Contact? (click here)
Who should help us with our adoption?
In the U.S., those hoping to adopt have two basic options, when adopting from another country: Agency Adoptions
As my darling wife, Lynn says: “If God leads you to it, He will get you through it…Trust God to give you wisdom to make this decision!”
In the U.S., those hoping to adopt have two basic options, when adopting from another country: Agency Adoptions
- through licensed private agencies who are licensed in the specific country.
- using unlicensed, unregulated adoption facilitators (these so called facilitators are discouraged by our US State Department and under investigation in some States);
- doing the work yourself (permitted for some international adoptions) with the aid of in-country assistance.
- agency adoptions provide the greatest assurance of monitoring and oversight since agencies are required to adhere to licensing and procedural standards;
- independent adoptions put the burden of the work on your shoulders and it most likely will not work due to legal complications and restrictions;
- adoptive placements by facilitators offer the least amount of supervision and oversight with no oversight mechanisms in place.
- costs
- country restrictions and travel requirements
- child health, age, gender, race etc
- your age, marital status, and others.
As my darling wife, Lynn says: “If God leads you to it, He will get you through it…Trust God to give you wisdom to make this decision!”
It is the mission of HOPE FOR FAMILIES ADOPTION HOME STUDY Agency to fully inform you so that you can make the best adoption choices for your vision of family and life circumstances. After considering the previous information, please request information or ask us specific adoption questions by clicking on the link below so we can help you
There is Hope For Families!
Thank You and please feel free to Contact Us by Email or
call at (772) 429-3334 or TOLL FREE (866) 773-3334
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